4/13/07: a little existential wonder

Has your thinking about history changed?

Yes, very much so. I think for a while I fell into this sort of "end of history" nonsense without even realizing it (and no I'm not specifically referencing the Fukuyama dude). It's a blase sort of mindset I caught in grad school. I think it's cultural and technological in nature: we're just awfully impressed with ourselves and our achievements. The sort of pie-eyed fantasizing about the future that characterized science-fiction and pop culture in much of the 20th century came to seem ridiculous, something that could only be appreciated ironically. But I've come to think that this attitude says a whole lot more about this particular moment in history than that particular moment in history. Of course there are all sorts of folks out there still cooking up all kinds of crazy visions about the future, but whereas I used to respond to this sort of thing with a practiced weariness, I now find it perfectly reasonable. We have no idea. We have some educated guesses that amount to little more than a drop in the bucket. But really we don't know. What I mean to say is, I think I've gotten back a little existential wonder. The sort of thing that doesn't fit so well in an environment of codified professionalism. And it leads me to see that our historical moment is no less than any other historical moment in its strangeness, its patterns, its unpredictability, its fleetingness.

Tony Soprano, speaking of history, of America, says something like "I missed the best part, I came in at the end." To which his psychiatrist replies "I think a lot of Americans feel that way." And I think this is true--that people tend to feel that way in these parts. And maybe if one cared to, it would be possible to explain how that feeling is a product of capitalism and the eschatological legacy of Western monotheism or something. Who knows. Well maybe you know better than I.

But in any case I don't think that feeling is...accurate. In the big picture. I think it is a failure of imagination, an inability to see beyond a momentary perspective. All this shit is as crazy as it ever was.