IDAHO FALLS, Idaho – A Pocatello weatherman who gained attention for an unusual theory that Hurricane Katrina was caused by the Japanese mafia using a Russian electromagnetic generator has quit the television station.
You can read the whole article here. And better yet, you can see this weatherman's website here.
Of course there are alternative theories. It might not be the Japanese mafia, it might be...you'll never guess...the government of the United States of America:
One U.S. project that is looked on with deep suspicion by the weather control crowd is the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) in Gakona, Alaska. The government-run web site for this project states that its goal is "to further advance our knowledge of the physical and electrical properties of the Earth's ionosphere."
To those who are wary of government activities and familiar with the legends around Tesla's weather control research, this remote site with its huge array of radio antenna bouncing electrical waves around in the ionosphere seems awfully darn suspicious, and dangerous.
You can read the whole thing in the Macon Telegraph, which apparently is tuned in to some of the stranger frequencies coming from the world of conspiracy theories. You should also check out the HAARP website, but mysteriously, when I tried to open it, it wouldn't. So I can't provide a link right now. Clearly nefarious forces are at work. Or just google HAARP for all sorts of...fun?
I probably should not poke fun given my own lowgrade weather schizophrenia,* but this shit always gets me. The truth is there ARE nefarious forces at work in the world. We all know that. And I have no doubt that the military is sinking lots and lots of money into weather research and would in fact desperately love to be able to control the weather. But ominous forces who secretly control the world are not the root fear that informs conspiratorial thinking. Nope. In fact, they are a preferable alternative to a more potent set of fears. Namely that we are living in a world in which we have no real control and are subject to destructive natural forces that are completely indifferent to our suffering, our fear, and our hope and that therefore imply that there is nothing at all behind any of this. No God, no Karma, no meaning. Nothing. And that, for many of us, is the ultimate horror. So the conspiracy theory serves as a patchwork solution to an urgent metaphysical and existential dilemma by providing a narrative, the hope of resolution and the promise of some larger purpose that might redeem our suffering.
Or maybe that's just what THEY want me to think.
* Given my propensity to obsess over, and complain about, the weather I feel I should acknowledge that September was a beautiful month here. Warm and dry and not too hot. I shall remember it fondly come February and March.
