I was awake today for one of these two events...any guesses which one might actually have happened while my eyes were open?
1) I am at a gathering in a house. I make eye contact with a woman who is much too young for my own good. I see she's drunk but I've had a few myself. Somehow she gets me on the sofa and starts to kiss me but stops and says "don't be so reluctant...stop pulling away from me." She has sensed rightly, but I react with indignation saying something to the effect of "don't be tellin me how to kiss." I stop myself from adding "I was making out years before you were born." She's mostly interested in more smooching and less talking but after a minute she stops and throws up on me. Twice.
2) I spy a beautiful woman. I hope she goes away so I can concentrate, even while I hope she comes and sits where I can see her. Which she does. Then, after a few minutes that last hours, she approaches me. I cannot believe it. She says "you look about as miserable as I feel." This gets my attention...has she figured me out already? She gives me candy! Who is this nice beautiful woman who gives me candy? She tells me that William James is her biggest intellectual crush. He was right about everything. I am swooning, swooning I tell you. I cannot seem to string together two coherent sentences. She departs gracefully and I am left dazed and waiting for the inevitable blow that the universe is sure to deliver.
Life, both sleeping and waking, is getting interesting my friends.
